Cross Country Eid

Have you ever felt sad to be leaving somewhere after being away from home on a trip, holiday, or adventure?

It’s a particular type of bittersweet sadness stirred by a serene happiness. Not a euphoric elation or ecstatic excitement, but a firm feeling of belonging. You’re away from home, yet you have never felt so at home doing what you’re doing, in that moment.

You’re away from home, yet you have never felt so *at home* doing what you’re doing, in that moment

Has this been coupled with a contortion of time?

The feeling that you’ve been away for much longer than you actually have. You look back over the last few days and think ‘wow, I’ve done all that, in such short time!’.

You don’t merely exist and trace your day-to-day banality, but THRIVE with every new opportunity + possibility you’re gifted with on your journey. You peer upon every pixel in your panorama with a renewed purpose and heightened curiosity. YOU choose, you drive, you select, you breathe, you are free, to be me!

So rare to feel this way! ‘It’s been such a long time, a VERY long time‘. It’s what I recall feeling as my Cross Country Eid drew to a close as I purred in the presence of waterfalls gushing in the Yorkshire Dales.

Despite the sadness, I felt immensely thankful. Why? Well, in many ways I felt replenished, but I also felt elevated. I want to delve into the context of my trip, and what I did during each leg, to illustrate these feelings + meanings.

Despite the sadness, I felt immensely thankful, replenished, elevated | Scalaber Force

Context

Prior to this impromptu adventure I had grown tired of being mistreated by so many people, personally + professionally. Patronised, underappreciated, ignored, disrespected, maligned and sidelined, and misunderstood. These episodes accumulated over several months rendering me exhausted, socially and emotionally.

I had simply had enough of people, which is ironic considering my line of work involves caring for and interacting with people! Yet then again, I know many others in healthcare, particularly prehospital care like myself, will appreciate where I’m coming from with these thoughts + sentiments.

For years I’ve never really celebrated Eid, which is sad. A jovial time of togetherness I have often spent alone either working or I’d simply pray then continue with the day like any other.

But this year has been different. Back in April, for Eid-ul-Fitr after Ramadan, I navigated a river on a dinghy for the first time, which was refreshing, and fate clearly had more in store for me! I only learnt about Eid-ul-Adha the week before it was going down, the forecast looked great so I thought, ‘heck, let’s do it’!

Seeing life at river level was new to me and refreshingly peaceful

Coincidently, ‘Freedom Day’, the end of COVID-19 lockdown restrictions in the UK, marked the beginning of my trip and I thought I’d revisit old places + link up with friends of mine. Usually I try to visit places I’ve never experienced before, but decided Cross Country Eid was going to be about discovering old places in new ways. I specified destinations but didn’t plan any routes, NONE whatsoever…

LEG 1: Malvern Hills

Malvern is special to me, as it provided light at a time in my life when so much around me seemed dark. It instilled a potent reminder of what being outdoors means to me at the source of my core, so I had to come through once more.

I hugely underestimated the heat, and the dehydration I experienced as the day crept on made hard work of my hike but I loved seeing the hills blooming in the peak of summer. Previous visits were during the advent of spring + autumn, so I was immersed in a whole different clime!

I was immersed in a whole different clime

This time around I also ventured through trails parallel to those surrounding the summits yet nearing the feet of the Malvern Hills – largely to find shade as many of them were shrouded in trees!

I also met this guy called Tim and we got chatting about Paragliding. Something I may give a crack one day, just to experience something new!

I’m not one to promote products, but I have to say I was hugely impressed with my Icebreaker gear! I felt cool in the heat, and any sweat that collected in my top evaporated pretty quickly + the whole jersey remained sturdy. Their clothing will last years + enable you to enjoy what you’re doing with comfort + ease. A staple for me in all adventures moving forward.

LEG 2: Shropshire Hills

Conversely, previous trips to Shropshire had been mediocre yet had the odd shining moment + I could recall profound moments of reflection at select sites. The UK was in a heatwave, my accommodation had no open window + I was upset because neither of my friends from the West Mids could link up with me.

But I wasn’t going to let any of this stop me embracing the hills, and I’m so glad I didn’t. I can still recall how after doing a quick food shop, refuelling + washing my car, I rolled up in Carding Mill Valley, strapped on my gear, stocked up necessities, opened up my OS map on my bonnet + plotted a rough route to explore.

Carding Mill Valley inundated with droves of people, no way was I trickling through

There is so much hype about Carding Mill Valley and the Long Mynd, but with droves of people inundating the valley there was no way I was trickling through. So I decided to explore the hills around (north, then south of) this popular area and OH MAN, WOW! It was incredible, mind-blowing.

It started with me weaving through what I can only describe as an expansive Golf Course from heaven (Church Stretton Golf Club)! I’ve never played golf in my life, but if I could chose a location, it would be here! But then again, I think I would be terrible as I would be constantly distracted by the dramatic scenes around me!

I hiked towards Haddon Hill, scarpered through Pole Bank + Shooting Box on The Long Mynd plateau then made my way back to the valley car park via Round Hill. It was epic coming via this route, particularly the view I had below of the following hills: Ragleth, Hazler, Helmeth, Caer Caradoc and The Lawley.

Surely one day I will have to caress these curves with my candour. Time will tell

I constantly gazed upon these hills + the wider backdrop of Shropshire and beyond throughout the epic sections of my circular route. These revealed new freescenes to play in and cherish, that endowed my trip with energy + excitement and blew my mind to bits. Surely one day I will have to caress these curves with my candour. Time will tell.

LEG 3: Yorkshire Dales

Little did I know that this stimulus I was absorbing was about to multiply and intensify when I left the West Midlands and dashed to Yorkshire. Being let down by people once again dampened my mood slightly as I embarked upon a day of convalescence across the town of my birth. Skirting around those old streets augmented that nostalgic feeling of when you visit an old place and all you see is an actual reflection of yourself, of how much you have grown + evolved.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for such moments of realisation + reflection, particularly as they can reaffirm the difficult decisions and sacrifices you have made to get to where you are in life. Those old streets made me who I am, bred my demeanour + character. But sometimes it’s hard being the only one there to witness + appreciate those moments.

Malham

Whilst brooding in these sentiments I weaved through the country lanes of North Yorkshire and arrived into Malham. My plan was to initially rest + recharge for the following day’s excursions, but I was encouraged + enticed to launch into an evening local circular walk taking in Malham Cove, Malham Tarn + Goredale Scar. Along the way it was painful to see families + groups of friends celebrating Eid together, and like countless years before, here I was celebrating it on my own.

Yet I felt SO ALERT + ALIVE skipping along the limestone clints + grykes emblematic of the Yorkshire Dales whilst also having a quick natter with the people I encountered. Recalling various sections of this hike from when I first came to the Dales on a Year 8 school fieldtrip also felt enthralling + reassuring. I feel very grateful to have captured shots of where I felt very happy, in every true and pure sense, and fully within, like the one below.

2 Peaks

Any thought of walking all 3 Yorkshire Peaks quickly evaporated in the soaring summer heatwave, plus I wanted to complete a clockwise hike of the peaks of Ingleborough and Whernside in a switch up from previous excursions. Some sections, like climbing Whernside during the climax of the afternoon heat, were challenging, yet grand views like that towards the Irish Sea and Chapel-le-dale Valley from Ingleborough and my descent from Whernside into Ribblehead were mesmerising. I felt invigorated with a deep sense of pride of being from Yorkshire. The hills, accents, limestone rocks and plethora of sheep coalesced to fosterthe feeling of being home.

Waterfalls

The bittersweet sadness I spoke of when I began this article stirred on the final morning of my Cross Country Eid. I couldn’t leave without completing my tantalising trifecta of hills, valleys + WATERFALLS so I decided to nip towards Janet’s Foss + Scaleber Force before departing for the motorways. As I played by the pools + awed at the scenes around me on my country drive, I was reminded of how bonkers it is that this immersive landscape was more or less on my doorstep throughout my childhood and youth yet for various reasons, I had little opportunity to fully appreciate it’s beauty.

how bonkers it is that this immersive landscape was more or less on my doorstep throughout my childhood and youth

Like so many things in life, sometimes opportunities present themselves at the wrong time, or the time is right but the opportunities are not within reach. But I beamed with a burning desire + determination that morning with the belief that this adventure was just the beginning of many more big, regular adventures outdoors. So although I was sad, I was excited about the new possibilities that lie ahead.

this adventure was just the beginning of many more big, regular adventures outdoors

What’s Next?

More trips, more adventures! I love my hills, valleys + waterfalls! But yes, as I write this, I’m days away from embarking on another journey where I plan to explore new places + terrains and push the limits of what I’ve previously experienced. It’s been over a month since Cross Country Eid, but ever since my return any time away from work has been dedicated to preparing + plotting new experiences. It’s what I live for! I was amazed by the boundless energy I felt despite hiking over 80km across a few days, and want to be where I belong, where every fibre of my being can thrive. I feel more driven + confident to do more trips in the future for myself.

Plus, I’ve reached a point where I care little for other people at the moment and just want to engross myself with the synergy I have with the outdoors. People in general, particularly at this time of my life, continue to be a source of ridicule, disappointment, uncertainty, unreliability + bad energy. Friends I once saw as family increasingly fade into my past and I’m ready to absorb + embrace new places. The right people will emerge when the time is right but for now, I’m happy just playing + feel grateful for having resources + places where I can be free to be me!