This was written around September 2023, on the cusp of autumn. For some reason, I didn’t feel ready to publish. Something was missing with the article, or myself. With minor tweaks it reads well + is a great reminder of my energy coming into this winter.
FOLLOW-UP
I initially titled this REBOOT! a year on as a follow-up to my article REBOOT! last year (March 2022). But I decided to go with Spring Clean as I started writing this in the Spring of 2023 after wrapping up the enriching experience that was CHUB and preparing to embark on another adventure (which I hope to write more about soon!). I was eager to refresh and renew my energy + focus after a transformative Autumn + Winter, so it felt apt.
Since the latter adventure began in April 2023 I feel like I’ve been wrapped in a whirlwind! A rollercoaster of curveballs, which is great as it has involved lots of new people, places and experiences. Yet it has also meant I’ve not had a proper chance to just stop + take stock, to reflect on where I’m at and potentially heading. So now we’re in the peak of summer, I’m yearning for a thorough, rigorous cleansing. You can call it a shed + refresh. Let’s see if this article helps, or at minimum, kickstarts something.
PLATFORM
With a lot of hype + energy, through great reflection + sacrifice, I made the decision to adopt drBACKPACK as my PLATFORM, both personal and professional. Roughly 18 months ago I decided to unshackle and embrace all the things that I highly valued and mattered to me most within.
It was hard. It has been hard and still is. It’s easy + common to feel lost when the road is made by walking, and I’ve lost count of the number of occasions I have felt this way.
But has it been worth it? Absolutely. I made a decision to leave something that was near enough heart-breaking because of what it meant to me, and the journey since has featured similar moves with people and roles. Yet I’ve experienced things I never thought I would before, and have opened myself up to possibilities I wouldn’t have considered in recent years, so I guess it’s working.
PROGRESS
I often feel like I’m not making enough progress, quick enough. In some ways, I feel like my passion, commitment, drive, courage + fearlessness has dissipated and regressed from my youth, but the dreams + desires remain true.
Maturity + Patience
Yet I do sense a newfound maturity + patience, more willingness to take the journey as it is. To appreciate the incremental steps for what they are formulating for my future. My visions don’t coalesce overnight, so I should take time to appreciate + celebrate the process and any level of progress I make along the way.
I’m still working on consolidating my platform, establishing it’s form + direction, striking a balance between my streams + elements. But I’m getting there and have every confidence the time will come when I start realising the goals I have with each.
Approval + Validation
I guess I still have a challenge with self-approval, with completely doing all the things I want, in my own way, and being happy with how I operate. I think a lot of that comes from the dependency I have upon institutions giving me a chance, a role, an opportunity, and the constraining effect that can have. My search for ‘partners’ that enable me to be myself to an optimal level continues.
Nevertheless, 2 experiences validate my decisions and are exciting signs of more to come:
- my experience in CHUB with London Ambulance Service
- achieving my Mountain Leader Award
I guess I can add a third: the webinars I’ve presented surrounding my research, the articles I’ve written, and the ideas I have brewing around this excite me. I greatly believe it’s all just the start of something grand despite it being dormant in recent months. I see + believe in it’s potential despite the limited reception I’ve received, and that’s enough for me. I intend to keep brewing + simmering what I have.
NEXT STEPS
I have outlined goals that I will keep to myself, but in short, I want to keep doing more of what I’ve been doing. The big lessons I have taken from the last 18 months have been:
Opportunities
To take any opportunity that comes your way as you never know what will come from it, and if it’s completely new to you it’s likely to be transformative.
Are you ever ‘ready’?
A further lesson that is more recent revolves around the notion of ‘being ready’. The idea that one has to put various things in place before going all out for what you really want to achieve – it’s FLAWED!
Not to quote Nike, but JUST DO IT! With that thinking, you will never get ready. Just focusing on any shortfalls, drawbacks, weaknesses and pitfalls AWAY from the challenge will just stunt you. It will lead to a cycle of stagnation + procrastination.
The journey of GOING ALL OUT FOR WHAT YOU WANT will make you ready: you will come to realise that rigorous process of immersing yourself towards your goal is the best preparation, and there are many things you simply have to learn + fulfil on-the-go.
Space to embrace
I want to keep working on making space in my life, for NEW people, experiences and adventures, hence the whole impetus on cleansing and shedding. I want to be pushed hard + far, to be challenged + stimulated in new ways. To keep solidifying + consolidating the evolution that is stemming from being my own person, my own boss. To keep exploring, to give time, space, validation, acknowledgement + recognition to what I really value + enjoy, to what’s most important to me, but moreover, how I want to make things happen.
Live your vision
I have a vision, and if I’m not working towards + with it, then I’m simply not living. I am lucky to be alive, to have all the resources, capabilities and opportunities I do, and intend to make the most of it. I will never stop believing, and hope to keep being patient, however long it takes.
drBACKPACK 